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# Carol Scibelli

Always Funny Speaker & Author / Widow / Grandma / Boomer

## Sitemaps

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## Posts

- [Blog](https://carolscibelli.com/blog/) - Carol Scibelli: Blog Thanks for reading! As the years pass since my husband passed (2006) the themes and subjects of my blogs have changed. For new widows and widowers, I think most helpful for you are the blogs I wrote early on...where you are now. Please use the "archive" button to find any and all
- [Avoiding Jane Gould](https://carolscibelli.com/avoiding-jane-gould/) - Four and a half months has passed and it's still hard to be out in my neighborhood because there are always 'the loose end people' - The ones who still don't know that Jimmy has died. (see post "Is That My Husband In The Bag?") I'm never quite sure if they know or not. Sometimes,
- [Business As Unusual](https://carolscibelli.com/business-as-unusual/) - I was a spoiled brat of a wife. I was. Bills? What are they? I've heard about people who get the shakes when they open the mailbox. They anticipate the bills overflowing and swallowing them up. Not me, not then. I just handed them off to Jimmy and never looked back. He used to joke
- [Another Day, Another Bereavement Group](https://carolscibelli.com/another-day-another-bereavement-group/) - I went and did it. I joined another bereavement group. I know. I know. After reading my previous post "I Hated Everyone In My Bereavement Group" even a really dumb person would figure I was done with group grieving and my plan was to go back to feeling sorry for myself in private. This was
- [Bereavement Group 101](https://carolscibelli.com/bereavement-group-101/) - I've never had much patience or tolerance for old people. Society tells us to expect age to bring wisdom and a clear perspective on life, but most people approach the end of their lives fearful and bitter. My friends and I spend lots of time promising each other that we "won't get that way" and
- [Celebrity Baseball](https://carolscibelli.com/celebrity-baseball/) - Each season brings it’s own memories. This year’s World Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Detroit Tigers made me react as I do every year….”Who cares?” True, I’m not a baseball fan, but even New Yorkers who ARE baseball fans had zero enthusiasm this year, too. If a New York team’s not in
- [Carrie Fisher Says It Right](https://carolscibelli.com/carrie-fisher-says-it-right/) - This morning I read that Carrie Fisher is opening a one woman show this Wednesday in Los Angeles. I'm a fan, but I'm not about to rush off across the country to see her. Still, the article quoted her and I felt it was spot on. In her show she sums up: "If my life
- [Christmas Skylar](https://carolscibelli.com/christmas-skylar/)
- [A Sign](https://carolscibelli.com/a-sign/) - It's not like we never talked about death. We did. Jimmy concluded that he would go first and he had facts to back him up. "First of all, I'm a man. Minus me seven years right there. Second, you probably haven't noticed, but I'm about 100 pounds overweight." We compared family history and that balanced.
- [An Honest Woman](https://carolscibelli.com/an-honest-woman/) - Jean, my bereavement shrink told me I'm a very honest woman. She said it like she doesn't come accross one often and that is just weird considering every other session she throws her hands up in the air and announces, "I've treated thousands of people." Just in case I might mistake this 70 something for
- [Bad Time To Be An Idiot Savant](https://carolscibelli.com/bad-time-to-be-an-idiot-savant/) - I remember dates like Rainman counted toothpicks. Don't be flattered that I remember your birthday. I remember Mrs. Friedman's birthday and she was my second grade teacher. My memory for dates is a talent with no real value, like baton twirling. Occasionally, I've reminded others about an upcoming birthday or anniversary and I've saved the
- [A Dream](https://carolscibelli.com/a-dream/) - Some mornings I have an awareness that Jimmy floated into my dream, but he hasn't played a starring role...until last night. In my dream I'm sitting alone in a theatre. I seem to know the people on stage and suddenly Jimmy is there and he says, "Let's go sit with the Luxury people." (Luxury is
- [A Year](https://carolscibelli.com/a-year/) - JAMES SCIBELLI March 14, 1950 - April 13, 2006 Much loved Deeply missed Always in our hearts Love forever, Carol, Jackie, Glenn Doug, Skylar and your Mom This was in Newsday yesterday and I really should have added "and Jimmy's many many friends who loved him and misses him, too."
- [Back to Blogging](https://carolscibelli.com/back-to-blogging/) - Tony Bologne Scibelli I've missed blogging. I've missed the immediate response from readers. So, here I am...back to blogging. If anyone has an objection blame it on Alison Grambs. I ran into her last night at the Friars Club and she said, "You MUST get back out there! While you're writing your memoir "Poor Widow
- [Can We Move On Without Moving Out?](https://carolscibelli.com/can-we-move-on-without-moving-out/) - A fellow member of the Friars Club waved her bony finger at me and said, "You don't belong in that house, anymore. The city is the place for you." I should have punched her in the mouth. I've never actually hit anyone and I think this would have been a good moment to start. You
- [Blabber Mouth](https://carolscibelli.com/blabber-mouth/) - My hands are tied. (not literally) I want to tell you about a date I had, but I can't. I told him about this blog. I'm a blabber mouth. My stupid ego made me. How can I make fun of him now? He's not for me, but he is a sweet guy. I can't diss
- [Carol Leifer is a Liar, but Timely for my Blog](https://carolscibelli.com/carol-leifer-is-a-liar-but-timely-for-my-blog/) - Hi All, I had to break from the letters because this interview is so in tune to what I blogged about last entry...July 8th. On AOL today: Comedian Carol Leifer on Her Mid-Life Change At 40, comedian and author Carol Leifer decided to spice up her life by having a fling with a woman. But
- [A Widow Conference](https://carolscibelli.com/a-widow-conference/) - Hi all, Just to say that I''ll be away this week without a laptop and won't be writing until next week. I'll be in San Diego at a widow conference...Not a big one...just a widow one. What do widows do at a conference? When we first arrive we take our lipstick and paint an upper
- [150 Poor Widow Meeees](https://carolscibelli.com/150-poor-widow-meeees/) - I've been home from San Diego since Sunday but I needed to digest the Widow Conference before I wrote about it. Okay, also, I'm lazy. I had to unpack, do a little laundry, visit Skylar, my cutie pie granddaughter, pick up my perfect dog, Tony and spend time with Mickey, the man I'm seeing who I tell
- [Bad Reviews For Cougar Response](https://carolscibelli.com/bad-reviews-for-cougar-response/) - Dear Folks, (folks? who am I? Mini Pearl?) Several of you told me that my response yesterday to Scorpia - the 52 year old cougar was incomplete. (a mark from school that brings back memories) I left out something very important...a health warning. I had considered it, but then I thought - hey, she's 52
- [Celebrity Baseball](https://carolscibelli.com/celebrity-baseball-2/) - I posted this on November 6, 2006 - just seven months after Jimmy died. These days there's a new stadium for all, new seats for us (cheaper, of course) and reminicing is easier. Today my cousin Sharon asked me to re-print this because it was one of her favorites. She said that it's impossible for
- [10 Stupid Things People Say to Widows - About Holidays](https://carolscibelli.com/10-stupid-things-people-say-to-widows-about-holidays/) - Hiya folks, In my book Poor Widow Me I wrote a 10 Stupid Things People Say About... for each chapter topic. This is how I end each chapter. Since the holidays are creeping up this one is for Holidays. If anyone has any to add, please let me know and I'll blog it here. And,
- [10 Stupid Things People Say to Widows - About Bereavement Groups](https://carolscibelli.com/10-stupid-things-people-say-to-widows-about-bereavement-groups/) - Since I posted the 10 Stupid Things People Say to Widows about Holidays the phone lines lit up with many more stupid things. Wait. I'm not on the radio. That was just an expression. No phones were involved. 1. "Any hot widows in your group? Maybe I could pretend to be a widower." 2. "I
- [10 Stupid Things People Say to Widows About - Dating](https://carolscibelli.com/10-stupid-things-people-say-to-widows-about-dating/) - 1. "Is he better in bed than your husband was?" 2. "I know it's sad that he died, but these days being a cougar is in!" 3. "You're wearing that? You're gonna have to get a whole new wardrobe!" 4. "I hope this one doesn't drop dead." 5. (from a divorcee) "At least you don't
- [Can Math Be Funny?](https://carolscibelli.com/can-math-be-funny/) - I met a man. We had lunch. He's a math teacher. Something doesn't add up.
- [Alternate Ending for "Keeping His Memory Alive"](https://carolscibelli.com/alternate-ending-for-keeping-his-memory-alive/) - Just to say that I'm writing this blog and the book "Poor Widow Me" at the same time. It's a memoir, written from today looking back. I'm rethinking yesterdays ending to the blog "Keeping His Memory Alive" and I wrote an alternate ending. Hoping you might take a moment to let me know which version
- [Busy Being Peggy Da Pigeon - See AOL story...](https://carolscibelli.com/busy-being-peggy-da-pigeon-see-aol-story/) - Hey, it's not all about being a widow all of the time. Sometimes, we just have to spread our wings. http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/live-gong-show-gives-break-to-yodeling-goat-milkers-and-other-quirky-talents/19684319
- [A Remarried Widow?](https://carolscibelli.com/a-remarried-widow/) - Here’s an inside scoop for all of the non-widowed people out there. At widow gatherings one of the most popular lines is: “People who haven’t lost their spouse just don’t ‘get it.’” I shake my head and say it, too. It's true. We widows don’t really expect you to understand, though, at least, I don’t.
- [A Widow Joins The Circus](https://carolscibelli.com/a-widow-joins-the-circus/) - Weird News Live 'Gong Show' Gives Break to Yodeling Goat-Milkers, Other Quirky ActsUpdated: 38 days 10 hours ago .Print Text Size Print this page EmailShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on DiggShare on Lifestream David Moye Contributor AOL News (Oct. 26) -- Showbiz is a hard career, but it's even more difficult if you're trying
- [Cheating by Quoting Maya Angelou](https://carolscibelli.com/cheating-by-quoting-maya-angelou/) - Okay. Okay...obviously I didn't write this and I'm not black and six feet tall and a genius as Maya Angelou is. Just thought poor widow me would pass it along ~ fun to give inspiration~ And, I did add the bold...that practically makes me a co-author! 'MAYA ANGELOU'S' BEST POEM EVER A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
- [A New Website...almost](https://carolscibelli.com/a-new-website-almost/) - Hey everyone - been away finishing up my book (will be available soon) and getting ready to do a fun workshop at Camp Widow in San Diego. Will be back asap...to give more details about my new website and blog... Thanks for stopping by...
- [All I Wanted Was a Pen](https://carolscibelli.com/all-i-wanted-was-a-pen/) - I knew I needed help organizing my home office when I couldn’t find a pen. At first, I rationalized that maybe I didn’t really need a pen – my lipstick was nearby and so was the pencil the kids and I used last weekend to keep score for miniture golf. Then, I felt that cramp in my foot that
- [Alone Again, Happily…](https://carolscibelli.com/alone-again-happily/) - Friends and family are so concerned about me “being all alone in that big house” that when they visit from out of town they stay with me and willingly give up room service, mints on their pillow and they unselfishly abandon all sense of privacy…theirs andmine. It’s a freakin’ love fest each morning to witness the
- [Are These the ‘Good Old Days?’](https://carolscibelli.com/are-these-the-good-old-days/) - As we were raising the kids, I assumed that it was ‘our time’ because the older generation told us so. Yesterday, on Thanksgiving Day, I heard myself parrot this to my Goddaughter, Katharine, who is pregnant with twins. “I’m sure it’s going to be hectic, honey, but try to enjoy it. It’s your time and
- [A Psychic in the Family](https://carolscibelli.com/a-psychic-in-the-family/) - Several weeks ago, I moseyed into a neighborhood-clothing store for their promotional wine, cheese, fruit and cookies. Who can resist a snack? And, who doesn’t need a new-something-something? God knows how many outfits I ruined trying them on with sticky fingers, (not the shoplifting reference) – The owners had not thought this through. Retail is
- [Book Report: “Going Solo” by Eric Klinenberg](https://carolscibelli.com/book-report-going-solo-by-eric-klinenberg/) - I learned in Mr. Klinenberg’s latest book Going Solo:The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone hot off The Penguin Press presses, that in 1950, the year I was born, only 22% of American adults were single. Today, that percentage is 50% and in real numbers, it translates to 31 million people. I wondered if they’re lonely, but
- [Adventure Kills Grandmother](https://carolscibelli.com/adventure-kills-grandmother/) - Why isn't she screaming? My grown son, daughter and eight-year-old granddaughter and me are off to Puerto Rico tomorrow. We’re going this week because it’s President’s week. My daughter felt it was necessary to travel on the most expensive and ridiculously crowded week so that Skylar doesn’t miss four freakin’ days of 2nd grade. I raised my hand
- [At This Stage of the Game](https://carolscibelli.com/at-this-stage-of-the-game/) - Two years ago I bought the washer and dryer pictured above. Of course, they weren’t sold with the laundry in them. I announced to friends, “This is probably the last washer and dryer I will ever buy!” I didn’t say it to be morbid. I read the warranty and I did the math. Those younger
- [Being a Writer is Not for Sissies](https://carolscibelli.com/being-a-writer-is-not-for-sissies/) - At her 4th book signing in two years I gushed to the author “I can’t believe how prolific you are!” There was zero comprehension in her face. She said simply “That’s what I do.” I begin to tell her that I too, am a writer, an author, but so many days go by that I
- [Are We Survivors THAT Needy?](https://carolscibelli.com/are-we-survivors-that-needy/) - Last night I dreamt my late husband was sitting next to me wearing a dark suit, blue shirt and tie. Talk about “all dressed up and nowhere to go…” Jimmy hadn’t aged a bit. I was just about to ask him what moisturizer he uses, when I opened my eyes, shook away my sleep and
- [All Babies Look Like Nathan Lane](https://carolscibelli.com/all-babies-look-like-nathan-lane/) - Winston Churchill said, “All babies look like me.” Of course, that isn’t true. All babies look like Nathan Lane. Just picture him freshly born, snug in a pastel blanket, a knit cap on his head and his mouth opened ready to belt out the opening number for The Producers. Your grandchild, my grandchild, Little Nathan.
- [Aren’t There Different Kinds of Intelligence?](https://carolscibelli.com/arent-there-different-kinds-of-intelligence/) - No. That’s what they tell you when you’re really not that smart. And, you fall for it because you’re really not that smart. ‘They’ shout out the following a little too loudly and just a tinge too enthusiastically. ~Billy is always right on time! ~ She’s a people person! ~ You should hear her sing!
- [Ah- Goo As a Second Language](https://carolscibelli.com/ah-goo-as-a-second-language/) - Everyone will try anything to make a baby giggle. Even serious types drop their phony English accents and transform into Bozo the Clown with prat falls, Donald Duck sounds and made-up games that are often disturbing. Besides cuddling, silly play is our way to communicate with babies. Now that our children are grown and out
- [Grandfathers Are Necessary, After All… to Grandmothers](https://carolscibelli.com/grandfathers-are-necessary-after-all-to-grandmothers/) - I’m not sure how to begin a new entry. It’s my first since April. Until today, I haven’t had the heart or the focus to post again. Minutes ago I changed my profile. The old one didn’t fit me anymore. I’m no longer somebody’s wife. In my post of February 17th I write about grandfathers
- [Could You PLOTZ?](https://carolscibelli.com/could-you-plotz/) - Some people are just hell bent on outdoing others. I say I’m cold. You’re suddenly freezing. I’m hungry. You’re starving. I’ll bet this is how pnemonia was discovered. One cave man chipped away on his cave “I have a cold.” The other banged out “I have a very bad cold” A few verys later –
- [I Don't Like Tomatoes](https://carolscibelli.com/i-dont-like-tomatoes/) - I realized today that I may never buy another tomato. I don't like tomatoes. My kids don't like tomatoes and whoever stops by for dinner can just live without them and be happy they got lettuce. I spent a ridiculous amount of time this afternoon picking out ripe, but not too ripe tomatoes and then
- [Hard To Bereave It](https://carolscibelli.com/hard-to-bereave-it/) - My friend Barbara told me I should join a beweavement group. I said, 'I'm not really into arts and crafts.' 'BeReavment!' she said louder, but not too loud because everyone is very very gentle around me lately. I appreciate this and at the same time I feel pathetic, like a poor pampered puppy. Some actually
- [I Hated Everyone In My Bereavement Group](https://carolscibelli.com/i-hated-everyone-in-my-bereavement-group/) - I'm one of those people who can just look at a stranger and hate her like she stabbed my best friend. I've always been grateful for this ability to weed out the boring and annoying. This is why I after two sessions I decided not to go back to my bereavement group. I hated them
- [File Cabinets Aren't Used To File Your Nails](https://carolscibelli.com/file-cabinets-arent-used-to-file-your-nails/) - I needed a place to put all the files and papers and bills. For thirteen years Rae, Jimmy's assistant had a fine tuned system. His office hummed (and it wasn't from one of those fluorescent fixtures) In cracker jack time Rae could put her hands on correspondence from 1994. Jimmy would have been lost without
- [How Do I Do Christmas Eve?](https://carolscibelli.com/how-do-i-do-christmas-eve/) - Doug lives in Manhattan now and he came home today as he does most Sundays. I told him it's fine not to, but he says he wants to - sweet - until he smirked, "Because you have the football package." Later in the day Jackie and Glenn and Skylar popped over for dinner and the
- [Family Vacation](https://carolscibelli.com/family-vacation/) - I'm writing this from Aruba. I know, poor me...sun, beach, pool, casino...Went today with Jax, Glenn, Skylar and Doug, something Jimmy and I talked about doing and probably this would have been the year. In many ways it's a good thing we never took a family vacation with our adult kids. This is new territory.
- [Easter At My House](https://carolscibelli.com/easter-at-my-house/) - Last Saturday I sat at my mother-in-law's kitchen table between her and my brother-in-law, Charlie. Every Easter for at least the past 25 years my family has gone to Charlie and his wife Gabie for this holiday. Here it was the day before Palm Sunday and nothing had been said about Easter. I didn't get
- [Continuing The Blog](https://carolscibelli.com/continuing-the-blog/) - I went to a writer's conference this weekend and although there were conflicting answers by "people in the know" most told me it's fine to keep the blog going even while planning to publish much of this material. Was that a run on sentence? I guess I should have attended the grammar panel... When I
- [Dancing With the Klutz](https://carolscibelli.com/dancing-with-the-klutz/) - These days when people ask me "What's new?" there's a gleam in their eyes. I translate that to: "So, are you dating?" My standard answer is "I'm ready for a little romance. It's got to be the right chemistry, though." Sometimes I say, "I've gone out to dinner...a few men, but Jimmy is a tough
- [I Fired My Shrink](https://carolscibelli.com/i-fired-my-shrink/) - My bereavement shrink reminds me of Bette Davis. I half expect her to crazy dance and sing "I've Written a Letter to Daddy." She hasn't signed my a clean bill of health yet, but when that day happens will it really count? Gene's judgement is as credible as John Edwards. I'll feel like I cheated
- [House (Not the TV show)](https://carolscibelli.com/house-not-the-tv-show/) - 72% of widows move within the first two years. hahahaha...I just made up that statistic. How would I know? Many non-widows (is that like non-Jews? ) suggest I sell the house and start fresh. We bought this house 21 years ago. I remember this because Jackie was ten and Doug was six. Erma Bombeck said,
- [Dating on Line](https://carolscibelli.com/dating-on-line/) - I posted this photo of me. I hope nobody notices that there's a hand growing out of my shoulder. I went and did it. Yes. I joined TWO dating services, eharmony.com and Plentyof fish.com. Filling out the questionnaire made me come face to face with the fact that I have no interests. I have no
- [Death vrs Divorce - The Final Verdict?](https://carolscibelli.com/death-vrs-divorce-the-final-verdict/) - Many divorced people read this blog and say they can relate to it because after all, "Divorce is just like a death." This comment comes from my enthusiastic readers and I may be shooting myself in the foot (not literally) to quibble, but I must address it. On the eve of the most profound and
- [I Thought I'd Be More of a Slut](https://carolscibelli.com/i-thought-id-be-more-of-a-slut/) - Here I am, a widow - three months short of three years and still no bedroom frolics. Are you surprised? No one is more shocked than I am. I though I'd be more of a slut. Even when I was married and heard about women divorced or widowed waiting years for "the one" I hissed
- [Dr. Seuss Says...](https://carolscibelli.com/dr-seuss-says/) - "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." ...Dr. Seuss
- [George Bernard Shaw Says...](https://carolscibelli.com/george-bernard-shaw-says/) - Hey Widows: If you feel funny about finding the funny listen to what George says... "Life doesn't cease to be funny when people die anymore than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." ...George Bernard Shaw
- [He's Not Dead. He's Just Quiet](https://carolscibelli.com/hes-not-dead-hes-just-quiet/) - "How could they tell?" ...Dorothy Parker when told of "silent" Calvin Coolidge's death This rings true for me because years ago my mother's third husband, Bill, a quiet fella, was whacked in the head by some crazy person. He was in and out of conciousness, but we barely noticed. It was just like a normal
- [I've Learned...](https://carolscibelli.com/ive-learned/) - Yes...I stole this. Arrest me. My friend Blondie e-mailed this to me and she promised me good luck if I sent it to five people immediately. I figured if I have good luck sending it to five people - if I blog it to all my readers my luck will go through the roof. (not
- [Holiday Widow Alert: Listening to Mozart Can Make Us Fat](https://carolscibelli.com/holiday-widow-alert-listening-to-mozart-can-make-us-fat/) - I'd like to think of myself as a watchdog for all widows. In other words, people, I've got your back. Holiday time can be especially difficult for widows and others who have lost a loved one - no matter how long it's been. Those sappy seasonal songs that we sing off key bring us back
- [Dating for Dummies, I mean Widows](https://carolscibelli.com/dating-for-dummies-i-mean-widows/) - My mother-in-law, Fanny used to say, “It’s a couple’s world. I feel like a fifth wheel.” The first year I was widowed each time I was seated with couples in a restaurant I was convinced that the waiters winced in pity when they took my order. The husbands always split the bill which I accepted
- [Cosmetic Surgery?](https://carolscibelli.com/cosmetic-surgery/) - Dear PWM, My Tom is gone 7 years now. I am 54 and not in bad shape. My question is: Cosmetic surgery? What? When? How? Is this a post menoposal obsession? I love your blog and your answers make me nod my head in agreement. So- what are your thoughts? I am talking everything from
- [Gay Loss](https://carolscibelli.com/gay-loss/) - Dear Carol, I am a gay man (28) who was in a committed relationship with Dick (really) (40) for three years. Four months ago he was in a fatal car crash. Thankfully (for him) he died on impact. For me, I am adrift because we had just had a huge fight and now I am
- [Daughter Trys to Steal Widowed Mom's Date](https://carolscibelli.com/daughter-trys-to-steal-widowed-moms-date/) - Dear Poor Widow Me, I lost my husband almost three years ago in a small plane accident. We were married 60 years and have a 44 year old daugher, Lisa. (NOW she is 44) Even though I recently turned 83 I began to date trying http://www.match.com/. Lisa encouraged me and even helped me write my
- [Die of a Broken Heart? Not me - I'd Rather Be Run Over By A Bus!](https://carolscibelli.com/die-of-a-broken-heart-not-me-id-rather-be-run-over-by-a-bus/) - The other night an old friend said: "My mother passed away ten years ago. Within six months my Dad died, too. He died of a broken heart." I asked her how old he was. "84" was her answer. I felt a mean smile coming on so I picked up my wine glass to hide behind.
- [How to be a Gracious Widow](https://carolscibelli.com/how-to-be-a-gracious-widow/) - Almost daily I post a question for widows and widowers on Facebook. Many people respond. Using social media seems like a great way to get us to delve into our own feelings and share them. It helps all of us. This morning I posted: How can we be a 'good' widow, a gracious widow?" Any
- [Facebook & Widowhood](https://carolscibelli.com/facebook-widowhood/) - Buffy, Supa Fresh (Robin Moore) Hyla Molander (Drop Dead Life) and Poor Widow Me Believe me, widowhood is not the neighborhood you want to live in. Besides all the obvious, there’s uncertainty. At every corner, there’s a decision to be made. Where’s my husband to stop me from making yet another idiotic choice? Of course,
- [I Even Asked my Friends on Facebook: Do I Go to the Funeral?](https://carolscibelli.com/i-even-asked-my-friends-on-facebook-do-i-go-to-the-funeral/) - Yesterday I wrote that I went to a funeral three months after Jimmy died. Some readers asked me why I brought that up more than four years later? A few felt that I was going backwards. “Slipping” another said. I meant to write about my friend Lewie Bernstein who just died on Friday. Lewie
- [Dancing With Poor Widow Me](https://carolscibelli.com/dancing-with-poor-widow-me/) - “I wish we had danced more” was one of the last “we” things Jimmy ever said to me. One of the first “I” things I did after he died was to take dancing lessons. Until recently that didn’t occur to me as odd. I hadn’t actually put it together. Dancing is so wonderfully romantic and
- [Fender Bender - A Workshop Clip from Camp Widow in San Diego](https://carolscibelli.com/fender-bender-a-workshop-clip-from-camp-widow-in-san-diego/)
- [Facebook Meet Ups](https://carolscibelli.com/facebook-meet-ups/) - I had exactly three dates before Jimmy and I began to “go steady.” Each one was under fifteen years old. No one was driving me into a secluded grassy area to have his way with me and it was unlikely that a pimply, goofy teen was going to sprinkle my milkshake with Ruffies or Special
- [For Adults Only](https://carolscibelli.com/for-adults-only/) - Amazing–I couldn’t play the piano BEFORE my husband died… Traveling alone feels natural to me now. How did that happen? It wasn’t that long ago that I wrote Three in a Row, a moment in my book that describes how foreign it felt to me to be the odd one in a row of three sitting
- [Happiness is Being Able to Write it In My Blog](https://carolscibelli.com/happiness-is-being-able-to-write-it-in-my-blog/) - At The Laughter For Life Club So there I was yesterday driving to Bridgeport, Connecticut singing to the radio and looking forward to a speaking gig at The Laughter for Life Club, also referred to as the Happiness Club. What could be bad? Happy people are easy laughers and I was prepared, actually extra prepared because my
- [Fresh Starts](https://carolscibelli.com/fresh-starts/) - My father-in-law, Charlie used to say that New Year’s Eve is for amateurs. People who rarely go out during the year “doll themselves up” to let loose. “What’s all the fuss about?” he would shrug. “It’s just another day.” Each December 31, we would quote him, and obviously, I still do, but I love New Year’s
- [Flying Solo](https://carolscibelli.com/flying-solo/) - Chocolate Pizza at Max Brenner NYC The idea of dating again has crept into my consciousness possibly spurred on by a friend who lovingly said, “You’re not getting any younger you know.” For decades, I was married and I defined myself that way. Now, almost six years later I am seriously single and most of
- [Hey, Mom – It Snowed Last Night!](https://carolscibelli.com/hey-mom-it-snowed-last-night/) - I love waking up to snow. It’s like a big event occurred while I was in a coma. Now, I’m conscious and perhaps I’ve missed a season. Maybe, I’d better check the date on that newspaper that’s wrapped in orange plastic half buried in the driveway. Trudging out to retrieve it is invigorating and as
- [Deadline](https://carolscibelli.com/deadline/) - Some may say having a puppet show with your toes is a waste of time I leaned closer to the mirror and smiled. My teeth are so big. Is that chocolate? When did I have chocolate? I’d better brush again… That will keep me from eating. It will also keep me from writing. Why do
- [Guilt Can Kill You ~ Then You’re BOTH Dead!](https://carolscibelli.com/guilt-can-kill-you-then-youre-both-dead/) - Hi All – Hope you like my new site – this blog was published last month in Pathfinders Magazine, an online and print publication, a fantastic magazine for widows/widowers where I am on staff as a humor writer. Please check in out when you have a moment. Widows and widowers are prone to guilt. We
- [lost in the Cemetery](https://carolscibelli.com/lost-in-the-cemetary/) - I don’t have a bad sense of direction. I have zero sense of direction. If I added up all the time spent driving South when I should have been going North or stopping strangers only to hear ‘left, right, right, left…if you pass the railroad you’ve gone too far, blah, blah, blah’ What? Are they
- [Is That Your Husband In The Bag?](https://carolscibelli.com/is-that-your-husband-in-the-bag/) - I feel safe at home. I like being among the familiar things that Jimmy and I bought together or fought about buying. I always won, of course and that’s why they’re here. Photos can be painful and depending on the day I conciously avert my eyes as I pass by, but other days I’m able
- [Lets Name Everyone After Jimmy](https://carolscibelli.com/lets-name-everyone-after-jimmy/) - You have to think very highly of someone to name your baby after that person. Yes? No arguement here. It’s an honor and it’s a tremendous show of respect. Okay. That said… On June 3rd my cousin Mike named their son after my husband Jimmy. (James) Oh, not the first name, but the middle name.
- [Just One More Time](https://carolscibelli.com/just-one-more-time/) - Jimmy loved a good backrub. He rarely had a professional massage, but when our 6’4 nephew Chuck came over Jimmy would lean over and yell to him “Blood, blood.” This, of course, meant ‘help get the kinks out.’ Chuckie came over yesterday and we were reminising about it. “I could barely pass by his chair.
- [Last Spouse Standing](https://carolscibelli.com/last-spouse-standing/) - In another 45 minutes it will be August 26th, our 34th anniversary. We used to laugh and say that we have a pretty good shot to being one of those couples married 50 years. We were married at 22 so both of us making it to 72 never seemed like a reach. Jimmy, assuming he'd
- [Killing Me With Kindness](https://carolscibelli.com/killing-me-with-kindness/) - Everyone wants to help the widow. On line at the supermarket if I happen to be wearing black and I happen to let it slip that my husband recently passed away it's a sure bet that I'll be ushered to the front of the line. Perks of widowhood are a double edged sword like losing
- [My Little Pumpkin](https://carolscibelli.com/my-little-pumpkin/)
- [Into The Closet](https://carolscibelli.com/into-the-closet/) - I have a running conversation with Jimmy in my head that only stops when I’m asleep. I doze off and we both rest in peace. This is not all that different from our marriage. I’m sure his version of heaven didn’t include hearing me whine, “Why can’t you help me find my keys? Wait a
- [Ironing The Sheets](https://carolscibelli.com/ironing-the-sheets/) - I just took the sheets out of the dryer. They were still warm and as I folded them I remembered at the very beginning of our marriage 22 year old Jimmy would iron my side of the bed to make it "toasty." This sweet, romantic and seemingly gallant gesture was not completely unselfish. As he
- [Life Is a Beach](https://carolscibelli.com/life-is-a-beach/) - We got home from Aruba last night and not a moment too soon to watch all the shows I had tivoed. My plan was to unpack immediately but "Desperate Housewives"and "Medium" was calling to me, similar to the way Jimmy would say, "That Rocky Road ice-cream is singing my name. I can't ignore it. That
- [My Shrink Sounds Like Jackie Mason](https://carolscibelli.com/my-shrink-sounds-like-jackie-mason/) - I'm beginning to attempt to use the word 'died.' Jean, my shrink says that 'passed away' is a cop out. She says that people fumble with the word 'die' to keep their loved one present. She insists, "Jimmy didn't pass away. He died." Is she reminding me? Her tone is biting and too aggressive for
- [Living In a Refrigerator](https://carolscibelli.com/living-in-a-refrigerator/) - Jimmy hated the winter. He was a big guy so it was always surprising to everyone how quickly he felt the cold. "This wind goes right through me. Why do we live here? It's like living in a refrigerator" he'd growl and then throw in a couple of 'brrs' and shiver for extra drama. Naturally,
- [Music](https://carolscibelli.com/music/) - Music stirs so many memories and feelings that I've been forced to listen to the news while driving. I'm up on current events more than ever before. Jimmy used to have a perfect comeback if someone brought up a news story that he had no clue about. He'd say, "I haven't been following that story."
- [Lucky Me - 07/07/07](https://carolscibelli.com/lucky-me-07-07-07/) - I'm baaack. After nearly three months of sitting on my hands (not literally) here I am blogging again. I wrote my last post almost a full year to the day that Jimmy died and it felt then like a natural ending for the blog, too. Also, people "in the know" warned "If you put it
- [May Our Friends Be Our Family & Our Family Be Our Friends](https://carolscibelli.com/may-our-friends-be-our-family-our-family-be-our-friends/) - Bunny runs in the family...I mean, funny... Skylar and I often wear our bunny ears. Luckily, it's Easter time. We got, "Oh, how festive!" instead of the usual "Enough already with the ears, you two!" Holidays are getting easier. I actually looked forward to the preparing. In the 'old' days my preparing was picking out
- [My So-Called Love Life](https://carolscibelli.com/my-so-called-love-life/) - Here I am back to blogging. Where have I been for two months? Is my sense of direction so bad that I can't locate my computer? I find it to e-mail friends. I play three card poker and video poker on-line. Sometimes writing about life gets in the way of living it. Often, I'm writing
- [Like a Virgin](https://carolscibelli.com/like-a-virgin/) - "I crack my knuckles." That's what I tell people when they ask me what I do for exercise. If they press me, I elaborate, "Not just my fingers, I crack almost every bone in my body every few hours." They think I'm kidding. So, I give them a show. I bend slightly backwards and my
- [It Is What It Is](https://carolscibelli.com/it-is-what-it-is/) - Today is two years and four months since Jimmy died. When someone asks me how long it's been do I say "A little over two years" "Almost two and a half years" or "Two years and four months?" And, what do I say two weeks from now? Or, does it matter? It is what it
- [Marty's Party](https://carolscibelli.com/martys-party/) - Marty & Me Marty Fischer was my friend for more than 20 years. He died of a heart attack Monday night at age 61. He was the big brother I never had. I did have a big sister, who was a lesbian and quite the dike to boot, but Doreen, gone now 11 years from
- [Liar Liar Pants on Fire](https://carolscibelli.com/liar-liar-pants-on-fire/) - On line dating may not require hair and make-up but it's ridiculously time consuming. Scanning profiles and photos is like looking at a police line up, but instead of picking out the serial killer we hope to choose the cop. The same man who in the future will probably sit silently on the couch refusing
- [My Widow Advice #1 - Everything Comes With An "Oy"](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-1-everything-comes-with-an-oy/) - Hi Folks, I've gotten dozens of e-mails telling me they are happy I am changing this to an advice column and they sent me questions I will print here each new entry. Here is the first one: Dear Carol, You are amazing and have helped me so much. I think an advice column for "Poor
- [My Widow Advice #10 Are Widows Contagious?](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-10-are-widows-contagious/) - Dear Carol, I am a group leader for a bereavement group and a follower of your blog. At first, I was skeptical and concerned about you giving advice to very vulnerable women and men. But you have proven yourself to be healing to widows and widowers. They say laughter is the best medicine and I'm
- [My Widow Advice #11 Did They Expect Their Husbands Would Live FOREVER?](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-11-did-they-expect-their-husbands-would-live-forever/) - Dear Carol, My husband was 59 when he died four months ago. He would have been 60 this month. All my friends are celebrating their husband's 60th and I feel so cheated and cheated for him. Worse than that, so many have parents who are alive at 85 and 90 and are just losing their
- [My Widow Advice #12 Poor Widower Him](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-12-poor-widower-him/) - Hi Everyone, Before I enter today's letter let me tell you about a film that's opening at the end of this month. After watching the promo on their website I was taken. http://www.youthefilm.com/ The name of the movie is "You" - about how a young father copes with the loss of his wife, raises their
- [My Widow Advice #13 I'm The Devil](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-13-im-the-devil/) - Carol - You're the DEVIL! You granted Craig forgiveness for hating taking care of his wife? Have you ever heard of "In sickness and in health?" It's okay in your nasty world to smack your husband with his sick bell? My husband Teddy was ill for 19 months and 6 days and I never complained.
- [My Widow Advice #14 Grief Trumping](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-14-grief-trumping/) - Dear Carol, My neighbor, Georgia lost her husband almost a year to the day that my Frank died. It's been a year for her and two years for me. She acts like I don't understand. We walk our dogs together twice a day and the dogs get along better than we do. You'd think we'd
- [My Widow Advice #15 Why Do I Blog?](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-15-why-do-i-blog/) - Dear Carol, I've been following your blog and although I see you seem to help some people I don't understand how you bloggers put so much personal information out there for all the world to see. I am a private person and I like it that way. I don't need to air my dirty laundry
- [My Widow Advice # 18 Praise Ourselves For Living Well](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-18-praise-ourselves-for-living-well/) - Dear Carol, I’m here to tell you and your readers that today is my four year anniversary and I am indeed enjoying my life now. Don’t get me wrong. I loved my husband, but these days I look fifteen years younger than the day he died. Taking care of him for 16 months took a
- [Life After Death?](https://carolscibelli.com/life-after-death/) - Hey Fellow Widows: Guess what? There IS life after death...YOUR life. So get out there and live it! That was today's public service announcement. Private services will be held later, but they're private, so don't ask. PWM, Carol
- [Lunch with Another Widow](https://carolscibelli.com/lunch-with-another-widow/) - Dear Carol, Can we have lunch? I am loath to put in an email what is going on in my mind and heart right now. Yes, even under a pseudonym, it is still too embarrassing. I respect your opinion very much. So far on your Blog site you have pretty much nailed it for all
- [Keeping His Memory Alive](https://carolscibelli.com/keeping-his-memory-alive/) - Tomorrow is October 13th - four and a half years since Jimmy died. The 13th is supposed to be unlucky for everybody, but I was born on the 7th day of the 7th month. I always knew that the 13th would be extra unlucky for me. Oh, right, and I guess extra-extra unlucky for Jimmy.
- [Miracle on Long Island](https://carolscibelli.com/miracle-on-long-island/) - A miracle happened on Christmas Day. Miracle is a huge word. I realize this. I try not to overuse it, just like brilliant and genius. I reserve those words for Woody Allen and for Skylar my 6 and a half year old granddaughter. The last time I witnessed a miracle was when my daughter was
- [Mean Jean's Thoughts on Widowers](https://carolscibelli.com/mean-jeans-thoughts-on-widowers/) - “It seems like the entire Tri-state area is asking me if I have a boyfriend." I said. Mean Jean, my bereavement shrink responds with a snort and then she shakes her head and she says, “If you were a man you’d be remarried already or certainly on your way.” “I know” I answered. “On average men remarry
- [I’ve Moved On](https://carolscibelli.com/ive-moved-on/) - I don’t even know if anyone will come to this blog anymore – who will read this? I’ve directed everyone I know to my new website/blog…www.PoorWidowMe.com – and now it also clicks through from www.CarolScibelli.com. But, will that stop me from talking? Nope…here I go… As you know, I started this blog just a couple of months after my
- [My Two Cents about Two and a Half Men](https://carolscibelli.com/my-two-cents-about-two-and-a-half-men/) - Jon Cryer & Me – June 2011 Like 28 million other viewers, I was eager to see how producer Chuck Lorre handled this season’s first episode of “Two and a Half Men,” knowing Charlie Sheen’s character, Charlie Harper, was killed off and replaced with Ashton Kutcher. For the record, I’ve been a huge fan of the show for all eight seasons.
- [Is Writing Obituaries a Dead Art?](https://carolscibelli.com/is-writing-obituaries-a-dead-art/) - I read the obituaries every morning. Unlike the news which is depressing – these half page mini biographies are entertaining – if you read between the lines. After all, it takes a skilled writer to transform an ordinary life to an extraordinary one. My fascination with and appreciation of obituaries began when a million years ago I worked side by
- [Memories in a Box](https://carolscibelli.com/memories-in-a-box/) - Devil Dog – 1977 When my granddaughter was born in 2004 I joined the baby paparazzi. I captured every imaginable expression Skylar made and once she started to smile, my camera seemed to deliriously snap away on it’s own. Back then, the latest batch in my memory card would send me flying upstairs to crank
- [My Smart Phone is Smarter than Me](https://carolscibelli.com/my-smart-phone-is-smarter-than-me/) - There I was in my beauty salon where I spend so much time I should not only look a whole lot better, but they ought to name a sink after me when I realized I forgot to make a dinner reservation for later that evening. It would not be an exaggeration to say that my
- [Magic Number Six](https://carolscibelli.com/magic-number-six/) - Son-granddaughter-daughter and some stranger’s back It came as a real surprise to me that so many of you wrote to ask about our family trip to Puerto Rico. I was touched as I read your e-mails, but I stopped at 674. I have better things to do with my time, you know! Below are
- [It’s Easy to Hang on to His Clothes If You Don’t Need the Hangers!](https://carolscibelli.com/its-easy-to-hang-on-to-his-clothes-if-you-dont-need-the-hangers/) - A version of this piece was in the Pathfinder’s Magazine last month. My husband used to say, “If it’s a Kodak moment, we don’t need a Kodak.” If that’s true, as long as our memory is still in tact, maybe it’s not all that crucial to hold on to mementos. What we widows/widowers keep or
- [Interviewing Santa](https://carolscibelli.com/interviewing-santa/) - This piece was originally published in a similar version in Pathfinder:Guide for the Widow/er’s Journey Iassumed it would be impossible to interview Santa Claus so close to Christmas. Why would he agree to talk to poor widow me? He had nothing to plug. He wasn’t starring in a movie; he hadn’t written a book and
- [IT’S ONLY BEEN 50 YEARS](https://carolscibelli.com/its-only-been-50-years/) - At my 50th High School reunion some schmuck actually asked me “What’s new?” I shrugged, “Not much.” I guess, I’m the bigger schmuck. To be continued…
- [People Die Near Their Birthday](https://carolscibelli.com/people-die-near-their-birthday/) - I’ve always been an idiot savant with dates. I remember everyone’s birthday even if I can’t stand them. My brain refuses to delete that Mrs. Ellenson was born on February 9th. She was my next door neighbor 34 years ago. Long gone, Mrs. Ellenson was always annoying and she continues annoy me to this day
- [Plucked](https://carolscibelli.com/plucked/) - Jimmy was plucked. That is the best way I can put it. Everyone else is still around but where's Jimmy? It just isn't fair. It isn't fair to him. It isn't fair to me. It isn't fair to our kids, our granddaughter and all of his other family and friends. I hope I'm clear. It
- [NOW](https://carolscibelli.com/now/) - Fear is all around me. Friends and family watched Jimmy disappear within a month. How could they not be frightened? "What are we waiting for?" they say, "Let's take that trip to Italy NOW." The NOW, of course, is 'before some horrible disease creeps into our bodies and puts an end to us.' My husband's
- [Photos from Thanksgiving 2006](https://carolscibelli.com/photos-from-thanksgiving-2006/) - Me and Sky. Jax and Glenn - 30th birthday cake Uncle Doug eating Sky's foot Hosts - Connie and Trif Photographer & God-daughter Katharine & boyfriend Pete God-daughter Kristi and fiance Matt Me and 93 year old Yai-Yai singing away...
- [Photos From Aruba - Captions By Sky](https://carolscibelli.com/photos-from-aruba-captions-by-sky/) - "Hey, is Daddy copying me?" "When I grow up I want to be just a silly as them...wait, I am!" "Grandma loves me." "That's my Grandma under that hat." "I don't remember this restaurant." "I think I like this place!" "He's cute!" "I have a very funny family!" "Is Uncle Doug wearing my daisy?" "Wow...The
- [Not A Celebration or a Tribute....](https://carolscibelli.com/not-a-celebration-or-a-tribute/) - This past Sunday, April 13th, marked the second year since Jimmy died. As the day approached I tumbled back again experiencing the weeks leading up to his death. I replayed that terrible time frame by frame. Gene, my bereavement shrink (now I go every other week) affirmed that this is natural at "anniversary time." She
- [Old Post Revisited](https://carolscibelli.com/old-post-revisited/) - I'm not trying to sneak a recycled post by you. I'm not that lazy. Well, maybe I am, but I dug this one up from last July because with all this rain every day even anti-sun me is eager for a dry sunny day. Saturday, July 28, 2007 Who Jumped Into My Body? Yesterday I
- [Never Say Never](https://carolscibelli.com/never-say-never/) - Finally, it stopped raining...Experts told us it would stop one day. They just didn't tell us which day. In keeping with my new love of the outdoors a crazy thought popped into my head. No, I am not planning a camping trip. To me, 'roughing it' means no room service. Jamie deRoy hits a truthful
- [On My Own](https://carolscibelli.com/on-my-own/) - I just finished reading a really good book that was praised by people far more distinguished than I. (this includes the entire Tri-state area) Eve Ensler, the author of The Vagina Monologues called Florence Falk's On My Own: The Art of Being A Woman Alone " "A call to independence and empowerment" See what I
- [Obama and I Both Won Florida](https://carolscibelli.com/obama-and-i-both-won-florida/) - Someone in the news today said that John McCain is about yesterday and Barack Obama is about the future. After spending this past weekend in Florida I'm feeling much more future orientated in my own little world and therefore I'm in tune with our new almost President. He and I are practically one. An overstatment? I don't
- [Profile This!](https://carolscibelli.com/profile-this/) - On my profile page for dating services I had to choose... 1. dating 2. long term relationship 3. marriage 4. marriage and children Children would be a miracle so that ruled out number 4. Looking for "marriage" sounds like I ought to present a resume. I'd be forced to divulge: Are my teeth all my
- [My Widow Advice #2 - Out of the Closet](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-2-out-of-the-closet/) - Dear Carol, I'm so grateful I found your blog. I enjoy your wit and disclosure so much. It reminds me that all that I'm feeling is "normal." This Sunday, February 22nd wil be exactly one year since Bob passed on. He was ill for nearly two years and I don't need to get into the
- [My Widow Advice #3 Balance Sheets Don't Have a Thread Count](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-3-balance-sheets-dont-have-a-thread-count/) - Dear Carol, I love your new format and could hardly wait to write to you. I hope you print this or write back privately. I am overwhelmed with paper. They come in the form of bills, legal papers to sign and lawyer bills. My kitchen table is so covered I need to clear a space
- [My Widow Advice #4 It IS a Wonderful Life](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-4-it-is-a-wonderful-life/) - Dear Readers, I realize that the topic for this letter is out of step with the season. Spring is a breath away and here I am talking about Christmas. Just switch it in your mind to Easter/Passover so you don't panic and think, "Damn, was I in a coma and I slept through a few
- [My Widow Advice #5 Helping Others Helps You](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-5-helping-others-helps-you/) - Before I launch into today's letter I want to alert you to a wonderful site that came to my attention http://www.ilasting.com/. It's a quiet, reflective and respectful place to post photos and videos and memory notes to loved ones. I'm changing my list of 'favorites' and adding this one and others that reflect the spirit
- [My Widow Advice #6 - Poor Widower Joseph](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-6-poor-widower-joseph/) - Dear Carol, I am at my wits end. I joined a local bereavement group in my town of Bethesda, Maryland and there is one man and nine women including me. I lost my husband Stan only four months ago and the last thing I want and need in my life is a man. I am
- [My Widow Advice #7 Emily Post?](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-7-emily-post/) - Dear Carol, God forgive me - I must admit that you give me a lift and even a chuckle every now and then. That said, your last response (#6 to Laura) was in very poor taste. She was annoyed and disgusted that all the women in her group were flirting with the one man. At
- [My Widow Advice #8 What Do Widows Talk About?](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-8-what-do-widows-talk-about/) - Dear Carol, I've had a very positive bereavement group experience. My group was comprised of wonderful, strong supportive women who I just knew after the first meeting would be my friends. (not all of them, of course - but four of us have formed a bond. After the tenth and last session we decided to
- [My Widow Advice #9 Chocolate Cake & Liver](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-9-chocolate-cake-liver/) - Dear Carol, I've read that you were in two bereavement groups. I think part of the reason you had an adverse reaction to them was that you had a preconceived attitude. You must go to these gatherings with an open mind. No body is perfect and while it's nice to make friends that's not the
- [My Widow Advice #16 The Biggest Role](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-16-the-biggest-role/) - Dear Carol, (PWM) I am besides myself. You always seem to put things in perspective and since you've been there I am willing to listen to what you have to say. You say it funny, too and that raises my spirits. So, here's my story. I lost my husband, Phil 3 years ago - it
- [My Widow Advice #17 A Widow Confused](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-17-a-widow-confused/) - Hi Folks...this is out of season, like mittens because it's from the Dealing with Holidays & Anniversaries chapter of my book. Dear Carol, My kids are upset. There is a daughter, 30 and a daughter, 32. The older one is divorced with a four year old boy. They were brought up with a Christmas tree
- [My Widow Advice #19 Poor Widow Her](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-19-poor-widow-her/) - Dear Carol, My mother-in-law is mad at me – AGAIN. Her husband has been dead for 9 years. Last week was the day. I didn’t call her. I thought of it early in the day and then I got busy. So, shoot me! My husband, (obviously, her son) stopped by her house (she lives 3
- [My Widow Advice #20 Puppy Love](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-20-puppy-love/) - Dear Carol, My grown kids surprised me with a puppy last night on Christmas Eve. He’s a cute little thing, (a beagle mix) but I was up all night with him and here it is Christmas Day and I’m exhausted. They told me they didn’t want me to wake up alone this morning, my first
- [My Widow Man - Tony](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-man-tony/)
- [My Widow Advice #21 Charles in Charge](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-21-charles-in-charge/) - Not Charles - Didn't Have a Photo of a Great Dane Dear Carol, I read with interest your answer to Ann, the one whose kids gave her a puppy for Christmas. I had the same situation last year. I was missing my husband. My son gave me a Great Dane puppy. Charles has grown into
- [My Widow Advice #22 A Lesbian Lesson](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-22-a-lesbian-lesson/) - Dear PWM, I've got one for you, Carol. I think I'm a lesbian. 27 years married and I am thinking about approaching this beautiful, sexy woman (who I am almost positive is gay) at my gym. This never crossed my mind in the past, but when I see this gorgeous creature work out and get
- [My Widow Advice #23 Back in the Bedroom](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-23-back-in-the-bedroom/) - Dear Carol, Here is my dilemma. My Paul passed away 2 yrs. ago from a sudden heart attack at age 58. We were married 39 years, no kids, just us. He had gone up to bed & when I went to join him I found him on MY side of the bed. He always took
- [My Widow Advice #24 Hey, Widows, You're Not That Special!](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-24-hey-widows-youre-not-that-special/) - Dear Carol, I've been reading your blog since a friend sent to me last year a month after my Pete passed. It's been a big big relief to hear that you and so many widows experience many of the same reactions and feelings. In my small town there are no bereavement groups. Your blog is
- [My Widow Advice #25 Stress this!](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-25-stress-this/) - Dear Carol, My husband Paul passed on June 23rd - a car hit him. I've been dealing with not only his loss (we were married 17 wonderful years and two girls, 11 and 14) but the anger and frustration of losing him in this senseless way. The police have closed the case and not charged
- [My Widow Advice #26 Three Time Loser?](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-26-three-time-loser/) - Dear Poor Widow Me, I have followed your blog since my good friend Natalie told me about it. That was a year ago. I must tell you that I have enjoyed and found useful just about all of your advice...you are a real pro. Although, I hope I don't have to go through the process
- [My Widow Advice #27 Am I A Widow If My Husband Is Still Alive?](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-27-am-i-a-widow-if-my-husband-is-still-alive/) - Dear Carol, I feel crazy writing this. Okay, are you ready? I think my husband is still alive. We buried him last August. It was just a year, the 22nd. The thing is he loved to ski. I went to Vermont last February and there he was on the lift with his feet dangling just
- [My Widow Advice #28 I've Turned Into A Cougar](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-28-ive-turned-into-a-cougar/) - Dear Poor Widow Me, I would like to know if I'm crazy. I lost my husband only six months ago. I understand this is not a very long time period compared to other bloggers who have written to you. The truth is I could have written to you three months ago, had I had the
- [My Widow Advice #29 This Widow is Clonely!](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-29-this-widow-is-clonely/) - Dear Carol, I am going to ask my dead husband's twin brother to have sex with me. Just one time. I'm not a big fan of his wife, my sister-in-law, so on that level I don't feel disloyal. I think my husband would understand. I miss him so much. I ache to hold him again.
- [Poor Widow Me Included in 100 Best Blogs for Boomer Health](https://carolscibelli.com/poor-widow-me-included-in-100-best-blogs-for-boomer-health/) - Dear Carol, I know this e-mail is out of the blue, but I just posted an article on my blog entitled "100 Best Blogs for Boomer Health" at http://www.nursepractitionerprogram.com/100-best-blogs-for-boomer-health/. Anyway, I am happy to let you know that your site has been included on that list. I figured I'd bring it to your attention. Have
- [My Widow Advice #30 "Bbbbboyfriend"](https://carolscibelli.com/my-widow-advice-30-bbbbboyfriend/) - Dear Carol, I've been reading your blog ever since my husband passed away three years ago. We were a close couple and many of the feelings you express I share. You are more fluid in your speech than I, yet, I find myself nodding as I read you that you may as well be talking
- [Our Profile/Our Status](https://carolscibelli.com/our-profile-our-status/) - We’re dating…exclusively. We’ve posted a photo or two of ‘us’ on our Facebook page. Our status is ‘widowed’ until we see that our bbbbboyfriend has chosen “in a relationship” on his. “Wait a minute. If he’s in a relationship and it’s me, I must be in a relationship too." This is big. It’s huge. We
- [Old Stuff/New Stuff](https://carolscibelli.com/old-stuff-new-stuff/) - I've spent all morning waiting for the garbage truck. Yesterday I cleaned house - literally. I threw away old stuff to make room for new stuff. It felt great, not sad, to toss boxes originally from Jimmy's office filled with letterhead and envelopes and correspondance from 2002. A year ago I would have kept them
- [PART TWO - Con't from yesterday - Tony Boloney - The Love of my Life - Sorry, Jimmy](https://carolscibelli.com/part-two-cont-from-yesterday-tony-boloney-the-love-of-my-life-sorry-jimmy/) - Old Mike Visits Tony Boloney March 2010 It took some coaxing but my good friend, and next door neighbor, Sheri convinced me we should follow Old Mike back to his house where one year old Morkie named Bones was waiting for a new mommy. Old Mike had two dogs besides Bones and he couldn’t keep
- [Rain Check Please!](https://carolscibelli.com/rain-check-please/) - After the funeral I wanted to be left alone. The suffocating hugs and tears and the “Call me. I’ll bring over a bagel. I’ll scoop it out for you” was kind, but irritating. There was no pleasing me. Bring Jimmy back. That’s all I wanted. I wish today, four and a half years later,
- [Poor Widow Me in a Nutshell](https://carolscibelli.com/poor-widow-me-in-a-nutshell/) - After dating for four years, we finally got married at the ripe old age of 22. My son, Doug, now a bachelor at 30, teased my husband since he was little, "Dad, you got wrapped up early" he'd say. It felt so natural for us. I remember being beside myself with excitement when the year turned to 1972.
- [People Assume...](https://carolscibelli.com/people-assume/) - PEOPLE ASSUME… ~If I look great, I feel great. ~Divorce is the same as death. ~ A loss is a loss ~The man I’m with at the movies must be my husband. Oops. ~I’m ready to date. ~ I want to date. ~ I’ll never get married again. ~ Of course, I’ll get married again.
- [Nude Photos of Me ~ And No, They Will Not Be Displayed Here!](https://carolscibelli.com/nude-photos-of-me-and-no-they-will-not-be-displayed-here/) - When I was 49 I had a professional photographer take nude pictures of me. Yes. Nude, as in I had no clothes on. Also, my hair was fairly short so I wasn’t able to hide myself behind luscious locks like Lady Godiva did. Sadly, these days, sixteen years later, even her length hair wouldn’t do
- [Parents Aren’t People – They’re Parents](https://carolscibelli.com/parents-arent-people-theyre-parents/) - “The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” ~ Sam Levenson, humorist~ They look like people, but they’re taller and louder and they seem to take up an entire room. Like an illustrator who draws and erases his characters, as children we believe because our parents made
- [Sex & Jewelry](https://carolscibelli.com/sex-jewelry/) - It's late and I'd like to get to sleep, but I can't. I can't because this evening I wore that stupid bracelet that's impossible to take off by myself. Damn. Why didn't I remember that? Jimmy used to bargain with me, "Okay. Hold still. I'll get it off, but how much is it worth to
- [The Right Place At The Wrong Age](https://carolscibelli.com/the-right-place-at-the-wrong-age/) - As I thought about returning to my new and improved bereavement group something very odd happened. I noticed I'm sort of kind of looking forward to it. It's not the kind of eagerness I feel when my little granddaughter Skylar is on her way over or when I open the freezer and realize "Wow. I
- [Some Things Never Change](https://carolscibelli.com/some-things-never-change/) - So, I went to Atlantic City. I didn't go with my girlfriends. I went with my good friend Marty...who Jimmy and I have known for more than 20 years. Am I spelling out p l a t o n i c loud enough? Along with us was George and June who grew up with Marty.
- [Thank Heaven For Little Girls & All The Grown-ups Too](https://carolscibelli.com/thank-heaven-for-little-girls-all-the-grown-ups-too/) - It's the day after Thanksgiving and I lost a pound. Every time I sat down to eat Skylar pulled me up to play. This granddaughter diet is terrific. Maybe it was the steady diet of good friends on Thanksgiving that helped me lose that edge of sadness that weighs heavily, too. As we laughed and
- [Shrinking About It](https://carolscibelli.com/shrinking-about-it/) - At first I was embarrassed to mention here that I've been seeing a bereavement shrink because I had such a negative experience and hated everyone in my first group. And, then again in my second group I took a shot with Jean because I liked her no nonsense attitude on the phone. I cautiously told
- [Taking A Bullet For Each Other](https://carolscibelli.com/taking-a-bullet-for-each-other/) - The last session I had with Jean she used a word I didn't know. I did my best imitation of an intelligent person, but I'm afraid she's smart enough to realize I'm not. I confessed to her this week. I had to. I had missed the complete content of her wisdom by not understanding that
- [The Day After Christmas](https://carolscibelli.com/the-day-after-christmas/) - The holiday I dreaded is over and I feel sadder than I have in weeks. Today it hit me that I didn't only need to get through this Christmas without Jimmy. This is forever. I need to get through all my remaining Christmases without him. I tried to make it easier by having no tree
- [The Beginning of the Last Year](https://carolscibelli.com/the-beginning-of-the-last-year/) - I took down my 2006 wall calendar today and I read all the notations I had scribbled in each little square beginning with January. Clueless me, innocent me, poor widow me was completely blind to what was to come. I turned over the January page to the February page to the March page and I
- [Superbowl Tradition](https://carolscibelli.com/superbowl-tradition/) - Superbowl at our house has been a tradition long before HD TV and flat screens and huge screens. For 30 years at least a dozen guys would gather around our 27" televison and later our 35" and last year, Jimmy's pride and joy, a 60" screen. The grid for the pool was posted on the
- [Thank You](https://carolscibelli.com/thank-you/) - The comments to this blog have been incredibly kind and sensitive and many people have told me that they read entry after entry at one sitting. They tell me not just to praise me, but also to blame me for making them stay up until 3 o'clock in the morning. I'm never quite sure how
- [The Measure of a Year](https://carolscibelli.com/the-measure-of-a-year/) - April 13th came and went. Tomorrow, April 18th, was the date of Jimmy's funeral. We said good-bye that day and it began the year that just passed. April 18th was also our "Date-a-versary." Our first official date was April 18, 1968. Jimmy was eighteen and I was seventeen. We played Pitch and Putt, nine holes
- [Tips for Getting 'On With It'](https://carolscibelli.com/tips-for-getting-on-with-it/) - Today I did a radio interview with Dr. Jane Greer on www.healthylife.net. It was an hour (less commercials) of talking about myself and my "circumstances." I know Jane for many years and she's a real pro and easy to talk with. The hour flew by...at least, for me, it did. Although, when I hear it
- [Skylar - Our Little Blonde Flower Girl](https://carolscibelli.com/skylar-our-little-blonde-flower-girl/) - Skylar and Adrianna On Saturday my God-daughter Katharine married Pete - they looked so happy they actually sparkled! Skylar was one of the two flower girls. Just nine months ago she was the flower girl for Katharine's sister Kristi...We're thinking of renting her out. Any interest? Oh, is this legal?
- [Real Kodak Moments Don't Need Photos](https://carolscibelli.com/real-kodak-moments-dont-need-photos/) - I heard that photos are the most googled. People don't care about reading the text. They want to look at the image. Sarah Palin (Don't get me started...) is now the "person most googled" Although, she may be grouped in with Tina Fey. I was always the picture taker in our family. Jimmy's theory was
- [Tony & Me](https://carolscibelli.com/tony-me/) - The snow is piling up. It's Saturday night. Must be a mad house for the movies...the ones who are brave enough to venture out. Me? Well, I have my dog, Tony. True, Saturday night is not what it used to be. Friends are coupled off doing what they do...and I remember how it used to
- [So?](https://carolscibelli.com/so/) - Last night I laughed all night long. Should someone dial 911? Have I flipped? Nope, not yet, anyway...I had dinner with Kathleen, a relatively new friend I met at a writer's conference exactly a year after Jimmy died. She, too is writing a memoir. We get together every so often (what exactly does that mean?)
- [Take Naps & Other Stuff We Can Learn From Dogs](https://carolscibelli.com/take-naps-other-stuff-we-can-learn-from-dogs/) - Tony Boloney Waffles Scibelli (This was sent to me and I wanted to share it with my readers...added a bit of my own spin to it) If a dog was our teacher, we would learn stuff like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. When it's in our best interest, practice obedience.
- [Tradition](https://carolscibelli.com/tradition/) - For the last few weeks I've been thinking about how we're wired to expect and to count on all things staying the same. This is crazy when the only real constant in our lives is change (not pocket change). The holidays are over but it's never more evident than when we're asked "What do you
- [Show Me the Money](https://carolscibelli.com/show-me-the-money/) - Dear PWM, My kids think I have lost my mind! I lost their father 5 years ago to an automobile accident. We are (were) a blue collar family and quite content. Tim's loss was catastrophic for my family but we're coping. My 3 children were in their 20's and out of the house. I recently
- [Thanks for Being Real](https://carolscibelli.com/thanks-for-being-real/) - Dear Carol, I'm "Human Bob" - you posted my e-mail yesterday. I was thrilled to see it in print, but more importantly, I was sneaky and had my friend cut and paste your blog site to send to my boss and various others in my office. I didn't know that she also sent it to
- [Tony Boloney - The Love of my Life - Sorry, Jimmy (Part One)](https://carolscibelli.com/tony-boloney-the-love-of-my-life-sorry-jimmy-part-one/) - After the kids moved out I continued to nag Jimmy for a dog. My empty nest and I didn't want a dog now but it gave me leverage for things I did want. Over time I perfected the guilt trip. Not having a dog even got me a trip to Paris one summer. I had
- [Tony Baloney - The Love of my Life - Sorry, Jimmy (Part Three)](https://carolscibelli.com/tony-baloney-the-love-of-my-life-sorry-jimmy-part-three/) - “Bones” became “Tony” the very first day. My friend Henry suggested “Find a name that rhymes with Bones. That would make for an easy transition.” Bone, roam, Scone, Ton…Tony! My new roommate licked my nose. He liked it! He really liked it! “Baloney” after Tony was a natural, like Knick Knack. Also, it softened the
- [Tony Baloney - The Love of my Life - Sorry, Jimmy (Part Four & FINAL)](https://carolscibelli.com/tony-baloney-the-love-of-my-life-sorry-jimmy-part-four-final/) - Which one is Tony? Which is his toy? It’s two and a half years since Sheri and Old Mike talked me into taking Tony into my life. Remember Sheri predicted she’d either be a hero or I’d hate her? Well, plans are in the works to invite everyone I know to a special award
- [Saturday Night Live](https://carolscibelli.com/saturday-night-live/) - It’s Saturday night. A handful of years ago we'd be out to dinner with another couple. I’d order that third glass of Cabernet and avoid Jimmy’s disapproving eyes. These days I’m driving myself home so I rarely have more than one. Ironic, now that I need it. On a hot summer night like tonight
- [The Future Mrs. Dan or Don!](https://carolscibelli.com/the-future-mrs-dan-or-don/) - So I went to a psychic. I won’t mention her name, but she knows who she is. What she didn’t know is that I’m a widow. You’d think that would be pouring out of my DNA. This psychic is the same person who’s able to tell a radio caller that her eight year old will
- [Shot in the Finger](https://carolscibelli.com/shot-in-the-finger/) - Yesterday my husband and I would have been married for 38 years. The last anniversary we celebrated was #33. Jimmy was healthy and happy, but if you had a gun to my head I couldn’t tell you where we went and what we did. I’m sure it had something to do with sex. And, sex.
- [Retail Therapy?](https://carolscibelli.com/retail-therapy/) - Give me a break! And, I don’t mean on the price. The expression ‘retail therapy’ is trotted out by anyone who needs an excuse to shop. This is just like “comfort food” is a reason to stuff our face with carbs. There. I’ve said it. I hadn’t heard about ‘retail therapy’ until someone posted about
- [Three Months, a Funeral & a Whoopi Goldberg Moment](https://carolscibelli.com/three-months-a-funeral-a-whoopi-goldberg-moment/) - About three months after Jimmy died my good friend Henry’s father passed away. I needed to be there for him and his family even though it broke up my routine of staying home and feeling sorry for myself. It was bad enough walking up the steps to the funeral home but it was impossible for
- [Tempting Fate](https://carolscibelli.com/tempting-fate/) - Facts you need to know before reading this. 1. Jimmy had a convertible. He’d hop in – well, maybe not ‘hop’ and shout out "Oh, I love the wind in my hair!" After 2 miles on the highway my hair would be a rat’s nest. Guess how often we took the convertible? 3. We both
- [Searching the Internet for 'Loss'](https://carolscibelli.com/searching-the-internet-for-loss/) - I was looking for articles about LOSS and this is what I found. It isn't exactly about losing a husband, but since mine was heavier than the average husband - is mine a greater loss? 1 pound = a Guinea Pig 1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts 2 pounds = a
- [Run-Away Widow Joins the Circus (sorta) Hey, That's Me!](https://carolscibelli.com/run-away-widow-joins-the-circus-sorta-hey-thats-me/) - David Moye of AOL wrote this story: Showbiz is a hard career, but it's even more difficult if you're trying to make it big by singing "Silent Night" like a pigeon, yodeling while milking a cardboard goat or imitating Ralph Kramden doing Shakespeare. But New York radio personality Leslie Gold is doing a sort of
- [Time Sensitive Material](https://carolscibelli.com/time-sensitive-material/) - Today I got a piece of mail that was addressed to my husband who has been deceased for five years. On the envelope it read; "Time sensitive material."
- [Santa Doesn’t Live Here Anymore](https://carolscibelli.com/santa-doesnt-live-here-anymore/) - My Teeny Tree On our last Christmas in 2005 Jimmy gave in and we got an artificial tree. This was a huge moment for a man who had insisted for 33 years, “If we have a fake tree, what’s next? Fake food?” Not only did the tree have to be real – it had to
- [Rain Woman](https://carolscibelli.com/rain-woman/) - All my life I’ve been an idiot savant with dates. For some ridiculous reason if I hear your birthday once, I never forget it. Some call me Rain Woman, although Dustin Hoffman’s bit with the toothpicks is out of my league. I’m merely a single threat. I do dates – nothing else. Not long ago I
- [Valentine’s Day from Another Dimension](https://carolscibelli.com/valentines-day-from-another-dimension/) - Jamaica High School Prom 1968 It would have been nice to write about a new valentine here, but just ‘nice’…not necessary – not for 2012, anyway. Who knows who and what next year will bring and I’m looking forward to the surprise of it all. So by posting the article below that was published
- [THANKSGIVING – WHAT DO I HAVE TO BE THANKFUL FOR?](https://carolscibelli.com/thanksgiving-what-do-i-have-to-be-thankful-for/) - A version of this post was originally published in Pathfinder: A Companion Guide for the Widow/er’s Journey Holiday time begins with Thanksgiving. It should be mandatory for first and second year widows/ers to shout out “What do I have to be thankful for?” Go ahead. Embrace your bitterness! While Aunts and cousins are taking turns
- [The Complete History of Grandmas](https://carolscibelli.com/the-complete-history-of-grandmas/) - This chapter is the first chapter, right after the introduction, of a book of essays I’m almost finished writing called, “SOME KIDS PEAK IN NURSERY SCHOOL & Other Wisecracks From a Grandma Boomer.” (btw Boomers are born between 1946-1964) But, please read & comment even if you’re not a boomer. Thanks! “For most of history,
- [The Punchbowl Must Be Spiked & other Baby Shower Etiquette](https://carolscibelli.com/the-punchbowl-must-be-spiked-other-baby-shower-etiquette/) - If your kids live nearby and you expect that your new grandchild will be visiting often you’ll need many of the same baby items at your house. These products are expensive. A forward thinking Grandma Boomer solves this dilemma by registering for identical presents. Guests may wonder if the mom-to-be is expecting twins, but a
- [Some Kids Peak in Nursery School](https://carolscibelli.com/some-kids-peak-in-nursery-school/) - The problem with bragging about our grandkids is that we’re all living longer so our friends and family will be around to see that our five year old who reads at a 4th grade level is now twenty seven and still reads at a 4th grade level. Yes, fellow grandma boomers, it may be your
- [The Ricardo/Mertz Syndrome](https://carolscibelli.com/the-ricardo-mertz-syndrome/) - One Monday morning a friend asked me what my husband and I did over the weekend. I told her, “My best friend hates my husband, her husband hates me and I’m not too crazy about him. We all went to a Bill Joel concert Saturday night. Everyone likes Billy.” She looked stunned. I shrugged. She’s
- [Roommates](https://carolscibelli.com/roommates/) - My sister was my first roommate. My bassinet was placed besides her bed, and I have pictures of her at three years old rocking me to sleep. That’s what she says she was doing, but she says it in a way that means, “Yeah, right. Believe that and you really are the stupid little sister
- [We Earned It](https://carolscibelli.com/we-earned-it/) - I don’t remember where I heard this, but I never forgot it. Once there was a young mother feeling tired and spent. She came across a vibrant and radiant fifty/sixty/seventy something grandma boomer much like me (and you?) The young mom said to the grandma boomer, “I feel so old.” The grandma boomer nodded knowingly
- [What Was I Thinking?](https://carolscibelli.com/what-was-i-thinking/) - I was driving along feeling sorry for myself listening to Michael Bolton belt out “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You” when my accountant called. He told me how much money I owed in taxes and my mood went from ‘suicide watch’ to ‘watch out BMW – I’m about to sideswipe you.’ “Oops” I
- [What If We Lived Life Backwards?](https://carolscibelli.com/what-if-we-lived-life-backwards/) - Okay, I admit it – the following is not original – It was sent to me by my ex-ex bereavement counselor (yes, I quit group number 2 – if only it had been this easy to give up smoking) I’ve racked up three sessions in two groups – if I join another I’m hoping to
- [Why The Long Face?](https://carolscibelli.com/why-the-long-face/) - Jackie and Doug with 'Skypa' our future triple crown winner. My father-in-law would bet on two cockroaches crawling up a wall. Anything for action. Jimmy inherited the gambling 'bug' and after our honeymoon in Las Vegas I caught it, too. Big difference, though. I can spend hours in a casino but horse racing is stupid.
- [Winter Cleaning](https://carolscibelli.com/winter-cleaning/) - This weekend the weather felt like Spring so while neighbors put up their Christmas lights Doug dragged the outdoor furniture into the garage. Until last week the '64 Avanti was in that spot. So many changes. It was impossible to look at the furniture without thinking that a whole summer season has passed without Jimmy
- [What Do Widows Look Like?](https://carolscibelli.com/what-do-widows-look-like/) - I stare at women and wonder if they're married. Everyone needs a hobby. I stood behind a woman at Duncan Donuts the other day and she was so annoyingly bubbly I knew I'd see a ring on her finger. As her wedding band taunted me I consoled myself with, "At least her manicure is dull
- [We Were The Lockhorns](https://carolscibelli.com/we-were-the-lockhorns/) - In our empty nest, dinner time was a free for all. Jimmy and I behaved exactly the opposite of the good manners we stressed to our growing kids. We talked with our mouths full, interrupted each other and often didn't bother to use a fork. No more need to set a phony good example. I've
- [Who Jumped Into My Body?](https://carolscibelli.com/who-jumped-into-my-body/) - Yesterday I opened the back door and actually breathed in the summer air without retreating fast to my crisp air-conditioned kitchen. Instead of my usual "Ugh. It's hot. My hair" I was "ahhhh. The sun. Feels good." Scratch my concern about my hair because it's been straighened the new Brazilian way. But I'm dumbfounded that
- [What a Casino Means To Me](https://carolscibelli.com/what-a-casino-means-to-me/) - Tomorrow morning I'm meeting my friend Lori in Las Vegas. I've been back a few times since Jimmy died, but I recently realized that a casino represents all the stages of my life. I can trace who I am today and who I was forty years ago by remembering my occasions in a casino. My
- [What is Progress?](https://carolscibelli.com/what-is-progress/) - At the wedding... Big head or small hat? Cowgirl Jax Cowboy Doug Traveling alone is a very grown-up thing to do. It begins with the deciding to go. That in itself makes me shake my head with the realization that I can go and do whatever I want - whenever I want. Not having to
- [What The Hec-tor!](https://carolscibelli.com/what-the-hec-tor/) - He's 23 and he wants me. Yes. You heard me twenty-three years old. Even to a cougar this would be smutty. A score, but smutty. A smutty score. The odds are that Hector won't be reading this blog. English is his second language. I'm guessing Spanish is his first, although through his heavy accent it's
- [What Is This Thing Called "Dating?"](https://carolscibelli.com/what-is-this-thing-called-dating/) - All right - so I put the ca bosh on sex with Hector. It may be something I'll regret especially considering I tell Jackie and Doug "We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do." Ah, no one listens to me, anyway...why should I? Here I am, a widow for two
- [Where Are All The Funny Guys?](https://carolscibelli.com/where-are-all-the-funny-guys/) - Banter is everything to me. Funny banter. I say this. He says that. We collapse (not literally) in laughter. I took for granted that all couples do it - like sex. On both fronts I was wrong. (People confide in me...) Laughing together is like making love with your clothes on. Jimmy and I spent
- [What a Charmer!](https://carolscibelli.com/what-a-charmer/) - Granted, I haven't been out in the world for very long as a single woman, but I have been out in the world period. When Gene, my ex-bereavement shrink told me: "Now, Carol, when you begin dating you will be emotionally at the age you were before you were married." I knew then that SHE
- [Where Do I Go From Here?](https://carolscibelli.com/where-do-i-go-from-here/) - You may have noticed I haven't written a new entry since "I Thought I'd Be More of a Slut." Here's my dilemma. Where do I go from here? I've met someone. I'll call him "M" which is "W" upside down if you're dyslectic. I've taken myself out of the dating pool (I've never been much
- [Widow Envy - Think Again](https://carolscibelli.com/widow-envy-think-again/) - It’s not all fun and games being a widow, you know. Doing what I want when I want has drawbacks that I’ll bet you married people with ‘widow envy’ have never considered. No partner means no compromise and, granted, on the surface this is a plus. Compromise is a dirty word in all households. I
- [WHY Poor Widow Me? WHY NOT?](https://carolscibelli.com/why-poor-widow-me-why-not/) - I was reading the Wedding announcements in Sunday’s New York Times because I assumed they would be cheerier than my daily dose of obituaries. My habit of reading the obits stopped immediately when Jimmy died. The words literally took my breath away. Like smiling, though, my urge to peek in returned a short time later.
- [Would a group called "Man Haters" be Successful on Facebook?](https://carolscibelli.com/would-a-group-called-man-haters-be-successful-on-facebook/) - “There’s a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time.” That’s a lyric from a song, from the musical Avenue Q.” I posted this on Facebook and women thought I was starting a man hating group - and wanted to join. Personally, I can see a group called "Men Are Annoying." Hate is
- [Why Didn't Mathman Call?](https://carolscibelli.com/why-didnt-mathman-call/) - Mathman hasn't called me. Did he lose my number? I guess I didn't make the grade. I weighed the pluses and minuses of our relationship. Maybe we weren't equal. When I mentioned pie, I meant apple and he was talking 3.14. No bras have ever been truly comfortable on me, especially algebra. Apparently he didn't
- [Young & Ugly Beats Old & Pretty](https://carolscibelli.com/young-ugly-beats-old-pretty/) - When did "Poor Widow Me" lose my appeal? Walking towards my office the cat calls from hunky construction workers were constant. I admit, that was in 1970 when I was twenty, but guys, have a heart. Can’t you eek out a pity whistle to make a 60 year old widow happy? I'll believe that you
- [Widows Reveal: The BEST Part of Dating](https://carolscibelli.com/widows-reveal-the-best-part-of-dating/) - I thought I'd start out with the positive today, and tomorrow post widows response to reasons NOT to date. Just so you know, eleven women gave it a thumbs up and nine said, "No way." In some cases, I couldn't resist commenting. My two cents is indicated in RED Hey, I get comments here all the time, right?
- [Widows Reveal: Why I HATE to DATE](https://carolscibelli.com/widows-reveal-why-i-hate-to-date/) - Yesterday's entry was quotes by widows who love to date. Today, we spiral down to the reasons widows HATE to DATE. As before, my two cents will be in red. Widows Reveal: Why I HATE to DATE "How could I get naked in front of someone new? Have you seen my thighs? _Diane, Grand Rapids, Michigan Yes,
- [Welcome to my new blog](https://carolscibelli.com/welcome-to-my-new-blog/) - This is just a quick “hello” and to say I’m happy you dropped by, and hope you’ll come back often. Some of you may have followed the blog I began in 2006, just months after my husband died, and I’ve kept it updated, until fairly recently. Now it’s time to start a new blog for
- [What is Normal, Anyway?](https://carolscibelli.com/what-is-normal-anyway/) - “Life isn’t a bowl of cherries- deal with it.” ~ Mean Jean, 2006 All the widows in the bereavement group groaned as the leader said, “I know you keep waiting for your life to get back to normal, but the reality is what you consider ‘normal’ is no more. Now the challenge is for you
- [When Your Daughter Turns 35…](https://carolscibelli.com/when-your-daughter-turns-35/) - Oh, my…there is no amount of Botox or Restylane or any of the fillers on the market today that will transform me to 45 now that my daughter is 35. Her big mouth gives me away, not to mention my face that screams 50-something. I know I’m old because I’m happy at 61 that some
- [“I Can’t Complain”](https://carolscibelli.com/i-cant-complain/) - January 2011 Lately in response to my just to be polite, “How are you?” I hear “I can’t complain.” Then they add, “What’s the point? Who will listen, anyway?” baiting me to lie and jump in with “No, no…I’ll listen. I care.” I did care a smidge before they were being snarky. Now I don’t care at all. Unless they tell me they’ve lost a
- [You Can Bring Your Dog to the City, but he’ll Still Pee on Your Rug](https://carolscibelli.com/you-can-bring-your-dog-to-the-city-but-hell-still-pee-on-your-rug/) - Tony Baloney It’s been almost a year since I sold my house on Long Island and moved into Manhattan. Besides rescuing my Morkie, Tony Baloney, about eight years ago, it was the best decision I’ve made since my husband passed in 2006. Everything is new and bright and clean ~ that’s inside my apartment.
- [Why Being Allergic to Children Skips a Generation](https://carolscibelli.com/why-being-allergic-to-children-skips-a-generation/) - Our kids read 79 books, 44 blogs, listened to 67 podcasts and bookmarked 1200 websites about infants, but nothing prepared them for no sleep and hormones that bounce around like silly putty. When we were young moms suffering from baby blues many of our husbands left the house before the baby got up and got

## Pages

- [Home](https://carolscibelli.com/) - Always funny speaker & author, widow, grandma & Boomer. Carol is a sought after speaker with a lighthearted take on life, Carol helps audiences be the boss of their loss.
- [Gallery](https://carolscibelli.com/gallery/) - Watch Carol Scibelli in action in video and in her photo gallery
- [Book](https://carolscibelli.com/book/) - Discover Carol Scibelli's captivating book, blending humor and heartfelt storytelling. Dive into a journey of love, loss, and resilience. Learn more and get your copy today
- [About me](https://carolscibelli.com/about/) - Discover the inspiring story of Carol Scibelli, acclaimed humor writer, speaker, and author. Learn about her journey, her work, and how she brings laughter and insight to her audiences
- [Widow Bits](https://carolscibelli.com/widow-bits/) - Television appearance Saturday, April 30th Manhattan Neighborhood Network 337 West 59th Street NYC Will be talking about loss of my spouse and sharing the stage with Lynda Cheldelin Fell (loss of a child) and Linda Bateman Gomez (loss of infant) Sounds gloomy and sad but many upbeat and funny moments, too. Our hosts Dr. Gloria
- [Speaking](https://carolscibelli.com/speaking/) - Book Carol Scibelli for engaging, humorous, and inspirational speaking engagements. Carol captivates audiences with her unique blend of comedy and heartfelt storytelling. Perfect for conferences, corporate events, and special occasions
- [Q&A with Carol](https://carolscibelli.com/qa-with-carol/) - Join award-winning author Carol Scibelli for an insightful Q&A session. Discover her writing journey, personal stories, and tips for aspiring writers. Get inspired by Carol's experiences and advice
- [Contact](https://carolscibelli.com/contact/) - Get in touch with Carol Scibelli, acclaimed author and humorist. Reach out for book inquiries, and speaking engagements

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