Archives

Uncategorized

We Were The Lockhorns

In our empty nest, dinner time was a free for all. Jimmy and I behaved exactly the opposite of the good manners we stressed to our growing kids. We talked with our mouths full, interrupted each other and often didn’t…

A Sign

It’s not like we never talked about death. We did. Jimmy concluded that he would go first and he had facts to back him up. “First of all, I’m a man. Minus me seven years right there.Second, you probably haven’t…

What Do Widows Look Like?

I stare at women and wonder if they’re married. Everyone needs a hobby. I stood behind a woman at Duncan Donuts the other day and she was so annoyingly bubbly I knew I’d see a ring on her finger. As…

The Beginning of the Last Year

I took down my 2006 wall calendar today and I read all the notations I had scribbled in each little square beginning with January. Clueless me, innocent me, poor widow me was completely blind to what was to come. I…

The Day After Christmas

The holiday I dreaded is over and I feel sadder than I have in weeks. Today it hit me that I didn’t only need to get through this Christmas without Jimmy. This is forever. I need to get through all…

Taking A Bullet For Each Other

The last session I had with Jean she used a word I didn’t know. I did my best imitation of an intelligent person, but I’m afraid she’s smart enough to realize I’m not. I confessed to her this week. I…

Shrinking About It

At first I was embarrassed to mention here that I’ve been seeing a bereavement shrink because I had such a negative experience and hated everyone in my first group. And, then again in my second group I took a shot…

How Do I Do Christmas Eve?

Doug lives in Manhattan now and he came home today as he does most Sundays. I told him it’s fine not to, but he says he wants to – sweet – until he smirked, “Because you have the football package.”…

Winter Cleaning

This weekend the weather felt like Spring so while neighbors put up their Christmas lights Doug dragged the outdoor furniture into the garage. Until last week the ’64 Avanti was in that spot. So many changes. It was impossible to…